How to land a woman like me

I was reading about relationships some time ago and I came across an idea that has stuck with me ever since. The author expressed that many products come with an instruction booklet that explains exactly how to use it and what actions will cause it to misbehave.

But we as people, some of the most complex entities to exist, get into a relationship and expect our partner to just know everything about us and treat us accordingly. There is no instruction manual. And the result is disappointment and loneliness.

If only it could be so simple as meeting someone on the first date and exchanging these manuals.

"Oh, I see hear on page 52 that your 5th grade teacher was mean to his daughter in front of the whole class and now you think about him when people discuss toxic masculinity and it's repercussions for families?"

"Random right?! Memories are weird."

How many traumas would that prevent us from triggering? How much more grace would that allow us to give each other? How thoughtful would that allow us to be as we reflected on whether a stranger was worth growing with?

But let's be real, even in this scenario, who would write it? It would require such a deep sense of self and understanding of your own insecurities and indiosyncracies. I'm constantly in self-reflection but I couldn't tell you how to be a person I would fall for.

I know the broad strokes: be kind, positive, open-minded, etc. But beyond that, there are so many tics that make a person wonderful, and any combination of them might be the formula for gaining my heart.

I guess what I'm saying is that I willfully mislead you with the title of this blog.

But if I ever do discover the secret to landing a woman like me, you'll be the first to know.

Chimdi Ihezie8 Comments