Confessions of a flake
I wouldn't say I'm a notorious flake, but there's a half and half chance that if we make plans I'm never going to see you again.
Honestly, I've just accepted this as a part of my genetic makeup. I like being invited to things but desperately crave the sweet dark embrace of a nap.
This general flakiness has continued unabated for some time but I've recently decided I need to unpack why I basically lack integrity. Your "Yes," should be your "Yes," and your "No," should be your "No." Why is it I struggle with this?
I think the challenge is common. I struggle to say no.
I recently heard some advice on making plans: If it's not a "Hell yes!' It's a "No." For me, I often let "This could be fun," or "I probably should," translate into a reluctant agreement to spend my time in a way I don't actually want to.
So when the time comes to show up, I let my priorities take precedence, whether that's investing in myself or getting some rest. The result is that someone is let down and I am left feeling guilty. Whatever momentary pleasure both parties received from me agreeing to whatever event is soon replaced by disappointment and regret.
Putting yourself first can feel selfish at times. But I believe the key is just to be honest with yourself.
Decide what matters, what could possibly be more important than a sweet, warm nap. And if someone is asking you to do something that wouldn't get you out of bed, don't even bother to commit. Because you're going to end up taking that nap anyway.
You're just going to wake up feeling like trash.