Who are you when you live alone and your home is just yours?
Who are you when your roommate can't overhear your conversations through the shared wall? Who are you when your boyfriend won't pull you close when you rollover in bed? Who are you when your sister can't root through your closet to get her next fit?
Who are you when no one is watching?
It's never quite who you think it will be, because you never quite know what impulses you control, attitudes you succumb to, and habits you've shaped as a result of constantly having to account for others demanding access to your mental and physical space.
Would you even organize your space that way if only you had to navigate it? Would you buy those groceries if only you were picking up the bill? Would you consume that media if it was just your mind unpacking it?
How do you know if you haven't had to know?
Showing up meaningfully for other people, whether it be your partner, your family, or your friends, requires having the space to step back and examine who the "you" showing up really is.
Don’t fool yourself into thinking that only applies to mental space.
Don’t fool yourself into thinking that because it can be uncomfortable, it should be avoided.
Give yourself permission to sit in silence, and to quiet the voices in your head and the turmoil in your spirit.
You deserve to know what it means to be the only one in the room and have that room still be full.
And you owe it to yourself and to the one’s that you love.
Because the quiet confidence of knowing exactly how to be present when someone enters your space results from understanding who you are when there’s no one there at all.